Post-weaning depression is a reality for many mothers, but it’s a topic that is rarely talked about. Learn more about this condition and how to get help.
There are many emotions a mother goes through during pregnancy, postpartum, and beyond.
While there is, thankfully, more and more attention being brought to postpartum depression, there is one phenomenon that I am finding more and more mothers opening up about and wondering if it’s normal. It’s something I experienced myself with my second child, and I hear from moms regularly about as an IBCLC.
Depression or mood swings associated with weaning.
Post-weaning depression can happen at any stage during the weaning process. It usually begins with sadness and being a little more irritable than normal. Most women think this is normal and will go away in a few days or weeks.
While this is true for some, it is not always the case for many moms who have recently weaned their babies (or are in the process of doing so). If you find yourself in a slump, feeling anxious, sad, and irritable, you might be suffering from post-weaning depression.
This is a breastfeeding problem that happens to more mothers than we probably know about, but it’s time that we talk about it. Because there’s nothing worse than feeling like you are alone in your struggles – when in reality, there are many other moms out there suffering just like you.
As with most things in life, preparation is key. I’d love for you to join my on-demand weaning workshop to help you navigate the ins and outs of weaning. You can also combine it with a consult at a discounted rate for added emotional and physical support. Click here to learn more!
What is Post-Weaning Depression?
Post-Weaning Depression happens during the weaning process. Just like when you started to breastfeed, hormones can be all over the place as you stop.
Breastfeeding releases oxytocin, which is the hormone that releases the letdown and causes milk to flow from your breast to your baby when suckling. It is often referred to as the “love” or “feel good” hormone.
As you start to wean, your levels of oxytocin and other hormones start to decline in your brain, which may cause an imbalance and a sudden increase in negative emotions. For some, it only lasts a short while – but for others, it may result in post-weaning depression.
Some women may also experience post-weaning depression if they had to stop breastfeeding sooner than they anticipated. These feelings might come from sadness or guilt for not meeting their breastfeeding goals.
Post-Weaning Depression Symptoms
When you start or have gone through the weaning process, you may feel the following symptoms. These post-weaning depression symptoms include:
- Decreased interest in your family and/or baby
- Mood swings
- Grief
- No longer have an interest in activities you love
- Sadness that stays
- Feelings of worrying (Anxiety)
- Exhaustion and Fatigue
- Thoughts of inflicting harm on yourself or others
Again, it can be expected to have some of these symptoms and not have full-blown post-weaning depression, but if they last more than a few days or it’s severely interrupting your day-to-day routine, don’t hesitate to reach out for help.
Causes of Post-Weaning Depression
There is not just one thing that causes post-weaning depression. It is your brain combined with emotional triggers. While some women might not realize they have post-weaning depression, others will recognize it right away. Understanding the causes of post-weaning depression allows us to fully understand that this is a normal thing and not something wrong with us.
Hormones
While breastfeeding, you are on a feel-good high. We can thank the prolactin and oxytocin for this. However, weaning your baby, especially doing it quickly, can cause these hormones to drop drastically. This causes your hormones to go haywire, leaving you wondering what happened.
Abrupt Weaning
I find that weaning depression occurs most often with abrupt nursing. When a mom is able to wean her baby slowly, it allows her hormones to adjust a little more easily. It also gives the mom time to adjust to this new phase of life.
Menstrual Cycle
Have you gotten your period yet after delivery? If you haven’t, you can almost guarantee that it is on its way. Your body will start to go through changes as it adjusts to your cycle. This will bring on mood swings that might be a little bit more intense, which may cause an increase in difficult emotions.
Who am I anymore?
Are you looking at yourself in the mirror, wondering who you even are anymore? This is so normal! Think about it. In the last couple of years, you have gone through 9 months of pregnancy, delivered a beautiful baby, breastfed your baby, and now you are left realizing this beautiful baby doesn’t need you as much as it always has anymore.
How does this not make any mom super emotional?
This feeling is normal. Just remember that your baby still needs you just as much, and there are so many other wonderful ways to bond.
Guilt
Guilt can be a major trigger for many moms as they wean, especially if it’s sooner than they anticipated. While you shouldn’t feel guilt, it’s a natural human emotion, and it often triggers depressive feelings.
An experience from another mother, “I remember with one of my babies Ii was so in love with nursing him, but he cried and screamed most of the time. I soon realized that my body was not producing enough milk for him. I tried everything to increase my milk supply and nothing worked. I was given no other choice, but to wean him.
I was sad and emotional and I felt so guilty. There were so many days where I felt like him having to wean was all my fault. But here is the thing, I had nothing to be guilty about. I was doing what was best for my son. I was giving him the nutrition his body needed in another way. I let my own guilt get to me. “
How to Prevent Post-weaning Depression
There is no way to truly prevent post-weaning depression. Even if you choose when to wean and how to wean, it is normal to experience feelings of sadness as you no longer have that special bonding time with your baby.
That said, some ways can help prevent it from coming out of nowhere.
Wean Gradually
Weaning gradually allows your body to regulate your hormones over a few weeks versus suddenly stopping or over a few days. I suggest dropping a feeding once every few days until you have completely stopped nursing.
Here are some other great tips on weaning that you might want to read about.
Wean on your schedule.
When to wean your baby from the breast is completely your decision. Do you feel pressure from friends, family members, or even your healthcare provider when you should wean? You are the only one who knows when it is time to stop breastfeeding. When you are in control, you are able to wean with fewer symptoms of post-weaning depression.
Talk to someone about your feelings.
Pick up your phone and call your best friend, or even continue to be a part of your breastfeeding support group if you have attended one! Talking to someone about how you feel is a great way to feel better and also help you feel like you are not alone. Therapy with someone who is experienced with perinatal mood disorders may be beneficial.
I offer 1:1 weaning consults along side my weaning workshop (scroll to the bottom of that page for details), and these are some of my favorites. It can be helpful to work with someone who knows the ins and outs of weaning to help reassure you and explore all your options. This may be covered by insurance
Journal
Journaling can be a great way to work through your emotions and get them on paper and not just spinning around in your head. There are so many different ways to journal, too. You can just do a brain dump or you can try and put down your feelings. Write about about your breastfeeding journal and include pictures. This can be very therapeutic and help you focus on the good.
How Long Does Post-Weaning Depression Last?
Experiencing feelings of post-weaning depression can last from a few days to a few months. You should start to notice a gradual shift in your mood over time. As the weeks pass, you should start to feel like yourself again. This is because your hormones are starting to stabilize.
If you have intense feelings of depression and moodiness that do not go away or worsen, do not hesitate to reach out to your healthcare provider. There is nothing wrong with seeking help, and you should not feel bad asking for help.
Post-Weaning Depression Treatment
As moms, we often feel like we have to be supermoms, doing everything for everyone else and leaving us with the leftovers.
There are many ways you can try to ease sadness and mood swings. Start by eating three well-balanced meals a day and getting as much rest as possible. When your baby goes to bed, you should, too. Be sure to go on walks or exercise.
Be sure to schedule in some extra baby cuddles. Weaning doesn’t mean it is time to end that one-on-one time with your baby. Getting in those extra baby cuddles can help increase your mood and take away the feelings of sadness you may have due to ending your breastfeeding journey.
If these activities don’t work or your mood worsens, you should consult your doctor or therapist for help.
Why does post-weaning depression go undiagnosed
Many women do not talk about their feelings or admit to feeling upset, sad, or overwhelmed. That is the biggest reason why post-weaning depression goes undiagnosed.
Post-weaning depression is not something you should go through alone. Post-weaning depression doesn’t mean that something is wrong with you, either. Your body is going through some intense changes all at once. It is totally normal to feel the way you feel. The more we talk about it and share our feelings with others on it, the more help will become available over time.
Share the experiences you have had with weaning your baby. Did you suffer from post-weaning depression?
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- 27 Common Breastfeeding Questions – and Answers!
- How to Wean from Breastfeeding: Everything You Need to Know
